I am a 20 year-old woman studying at a community college after finishing English as a Second Language (ESL) courses. I was motivated and doing well in ESL classes. However, soon after I was admitted to the community college, I started feeling under the weather. In the second quarter, I was not able to get up in the morning and lost interest in the classes. My school advisor referred me to the counseling office. First, I assumed I was a weak-willed person and it was my fault that I lost my motivation. However, through counseling, it was gradually revealed that my relationship with my Japanese classmates and my parents’ problems were subtly affecting my schoolwork. I was very much frustrated because I had difficulties expressing myself to my classmates. In counseling sessions, I learned about interpersonal communication skills, and practiced how to express my opinions without hurting other’s feelings. I began to feel much less frustrated. Regarding my parents’ problems, my counselor helped me sort out what I could and could not do about their issues. I also learned about the difference between my parents’ values and mine. In this process, I analyzed and learned about myself. In retrospect, I think I was lost in my classes surrounded by all American classmates at the community college. I was reminded of my original goals of studying abroad. Now, I am feeling better and have regained my motivation.

I am an American and my wife is Japanese, and we have been married for 3 years. We used to get along well but lately we fight and argue almost every day about very trivial matters. She is a very particular person especially around the house. I have lived alone for years so I liked to cook and I wanted to share the household chores, but she got upset when I didn’t do things in her way. Eventually, I stopped doing chores and then she blamed me for not helping her. We talk about day to day affairs but cannot talk about any serious matters because we end up fighting. I didn’t know why she became so angry all the time and I felt like there was nothing I could do. In counseling sessions, we learned what went wrong in our relationships. I didn’t realize how much we were different in terms of how we see things and how we communicate. As our differences and misunderstandings were unfolding, and as our counselor showed us how to communicate better, our fights decreased. We also felt relieved to know that we were not the only international couple who had this kind of problems. We practiced communication and problem solving skills in counseling sessions. We now are able to discuss issues, rather than argue.

I am in my late 20s, and I have had a long standing conflict with my foreign-born parents. Even though we live in the same city, I have avoided them for a long time by having limited contact with them only on holidays. But now I am getting married and I want to resolve our rift. I didn’t think I could do it by myself and that’s why I sought family counseling. My counselor spent time with me and my parents separately, then we had a joint session. It was a big help to have her as a facilitator and mediator since we wouldn’t be able to talk to each other without getting emotional and verbally abusive. All of us were able to say our mind and it was good to listen and be listened to. I thought I knew my parents and they thought they knew me, but we all learned that we didn’t know much about each other. We still need to work on our relationship, but we had a good wedding and that was all I asked for.

I am a 26 year-old Japanese man. After I graduated from an American university, I got a job in the US. I was doing well at work and working hard, but my supervisor did not acknowledge my work. Some of my mediocre co-workers, who came to work late and left early, got promoted. I got tired of such an unfair workplace. In counseling sessions, my counselor helped me to realize how much I was thinking and acting at work in a Japanese way. Although I learned in university that it was important to be assertive in the US, I somehow assumed at work that my work results itself would tell my supervisor about my competency. It was very helpful for me to have a third person point out objectively what I was doing at my work. Being Japanese, I have to make efforts to be assertive, but knowing what to do eased my stress and anger.